In order to have a healthy and thriving social group there are certain codes that have to be adhered to.
These are things that everyone knows in their “heart of hearts” to be true.. yet often can go unfollowed.
Why is it that there are people suffering in todays world?
What are the behaviors that are universally despised among all people?
What kinds of behaviors drive people apart and create wedges?
Sometimes it is equally as insightful to see what isn’t working as much as it is to focus on what does work.
By seeing clearly what does not contribute to our betterment we can then act in ways that are counter to those things.
For example: In our family units what is it that often drives people apart and to not like eachother?
Is it not dishonesty… in speech and actions?
Doesn't dishonesty act in a way that erodes trust?
Trust is the greatest currency of our world among humans… it is how we know we can depend on eachother.
It is how we come to create strong bonds between eachother.
On a “metaphysical” level it is how we gain power by creating strong pathways of communication between eachother.
When we are feeling emotionally isolated it is typically characterized by feelings of being misunderstood.. not connected to.
So how do we connect?
Having “Hard” Conversations
The people who are closest to us are the people whom we have the deepest connections to emotionally.
This is why when we feel betrayed by these people.. it can cut deeper than any other connections we have in our life.
If a stranger or quasi stranger shows signs of betrayal.. it doesn’t affect us the same way as when a close relative or friend betrays us.
This is why clear, honest, and consistent communication is key to ascending in our own lives through all circumstances.
If there are people close to us that we feel we need to have clear conversations with - this then becomes a requirement in order to continue to grow with these people by our sides.
There is no love that is more pure than open and honest communication.
When we are able to communicate from a place of observation, openness, and clarity.
Communicating from our hearts out to those who matter most to us.
When these conversations happen it is always a “apocalypse” - a "revealing".
These types of conversations have a way of revealing the character of ourselves and those around us.
The way that they respond can give us great insights into ourselves and those whom we choose to be close to.
These conversations are ceremonies of death and rebirth - where we have the chance to shed layers of our own psyche together and come to deeper more foundational truths.
The human being is always in a state of growth.. we are always changing.
We have “updates” in the way that we are thinking.. and when these “updates” are communicated we have the chance to step into a new and refined version of who we are.
There are many self-help gurus out there.. and there are many problems that people face in their lives.
I put it forward that many of the ways that people are seeking change require only openness and honesty.. the bravery to reveal ourselves to those whom we call companions, friends, and family.
When people hold in these truths within.. it can often become “bottled up” and lead to all sorts of coping strategies to deal with the inherent discomfort that comes from suppressing our actual thoughts and emotions.
By choosing to suppress how we really think and feel… we subconsciously begin to choose to wear a mask in the world.
We aren’t “authentic” and therefore all of our connections suffer.
Why?
Because we have “cleaning” to do in order to be able to shine our light fully.
The bottled up emotions then become tangled with all the rationalizations employed to excuse our own lack of authentic relating to the outside world and the people in it.
This doesn’t mean we have to share every little bit of ourselves.. especially if we don’t feel ready to reveal who we are to the world yet.
Though it does mean that we would benefit from beginning to move in that direction.
Often we have to be brave and face our fears when having difficult conversations with those whom we are connected to.
Ultimately.. these communications are acts of setting ourselves free from the constrictions of false friendships or ways of connecting with others.
Our inner being begins to tell us what we ought to say.. and this process is a process of transformation.
Our relationships change as do our personalities.. and it is natural for them to go through death and rebirth processes as we evolve.
The ways that we used to connect with others may change as we spiritually mature and evolve.. for many (perhaps for you reading this).. this could create fear and anxiety.
It could bring to surface fears of being abandoned by friends or loved ones.
It could bring to surface fears of being seen as “too much” or “not enough”.
We may feel embarrassed to speak our truth out loud..
Though it is necessary if we are to grow into more refined versions of who we are.
It can even be fun.
Facing Reality
The truth is that in order to grow in this world.. and in order to be “real” and actually live life.. we must accept who we are on a fundamental level.
This means accepting the aspects of who we are completely and totally.. seeing ourselves as a holistic being.
Even the things that we may be afraid of… embarrassed about… or “prefer wasn’t there”… these things are especially important to come to terms with and see clearly.
Often it is these aspects of who we are that are some of the most real things about us.
These things that we would rather not “identify with” - if reoccurring - are actually some of the best raw materials to work with when we are going through transformation.
These things can then become raw material to build a healthy and strong network of connections.
People are in reality craving the raw experience of those around them.
Many people are afraid to be themselves and to speak about things that produce fear within them..
They are afraid to be taken advantage of.
Or they are embarrassed about what they are experiencing internally.
The shame that many of us feel around these "hidden" aspects of self convinces us that we are less than and this contributes to a culture that is based on fiction and egoic posturing.
In reality - these things are what make us stronger when we reveal them and face them.
They are the parts of us that could use the most attention and we are far better off being real about them rather than hiding them away for all time.
They can’t grow in that space of hiding… they can only grow when we bring them to light for all to see.
In that space.. we can relinquish shame and be liberated from the horrors that plague the confinement of an isolated heart.
This is also how healing takes place in “fragmented” psyches.
When we speak about the various aspects of us that we would hide away.. we build bridges throughout our entire psyche where these aspects can communicate clearly to eachother and become more unified and whole.
Ask yourself:
1: What am I uncomfortable sharing with anyone else?
2: Who can I talk to on the deepest levels and share myself with?
3: Who do I feel I want to discuss things with on a deep level?
These questions can help us open up even to ourselves.
They can help us communicate more clearly to others.
Communication is key.
To personal health and interpersonal health - which are one and same thing.
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Share it with someone who you want to have more honest conversations with and deepen your connection!
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Cheers and may the Light guide the way