If you are reading this, then like many people you may be curious about your own “dark side”.
This may be inspired after having had witnessing "not ideal" dynamics in your relationships.
Or you may have noticed not-so-fun patterns playing out with friends.
If so, yes - many of us have been there. Welcome to the club, and congratulations on becoming more aware!
The positive side of these experiences is that they have lead you to reading this article, which means that they must have made you conscious enough to realize that there is something that could be optimized to improve your life experience.
When we choose to become more aware and look at the ways we are operating, and even the ways we are hiding from ourselves (yes that is possible!) we are admitting and accepting that there are things we can look at within ourselves that can be improved and brought to light.
This is a great step to take. It is a “welcoming in” of ourselves, by ourselves, into the “inner sanctums”, the “central circles” of our own being.
Through this process, we become aware that we are “greater” than what we have been “playing” as prior.
We choose to move through fear and liberate ourselves.
We are choosing to embrace our divine wisdom and expand beyond our prior levels of awareness.
Part of this process is looking at the aspects of ourselves that have “run amok” and putting them “on a leash” per se.
We learn to “retrain” aspects of ourselves and get to know aspects of ourselves that may have been previously lost to us - likely due to traumas or even “simple” lack of connection from early childhood.
This is why “shadow work” is essential along our spiritual journey and can have major influence in the way we build and construct our realities in the “outside world”.
The reason for this is that our shadows can sometimes dramatic influence of our behaviors as human beings.
They not only can influence how we achieve our goals - they can also influence what our goals are in the first place.
In order to “innerstand” this and comprehend how this can work, let’s first define what the shadow is.
What is the Shadow?
The shadow is all of the “hidden” aspects of ourselves. It includes aspects of ourselves that we are ashamed of, embarrassed of, that we hide from the world, from ourselves, and that we feel would be socially unacceptable to express. This may also include "positive" personality traits.
The shadow is an aspect of ourselves that, as long as it “exists” - is inseparable from us.
The shadow can be elusive by it’s “nature” and the reason for that is because it exists in the “darkness” of our psyches.
The “darkness” being the “unknown”.
In this case, the "unknown" is parts of ourselves that exist beyond the awareness of our conscious ego-based self.
As we become aware of our shadow we may be shocked to see ourselves from new angles and unexpected perspectives.
This new found awareness can also lead us to innerstand ourselves on different levels, and lead us to see the world and ourselves differently.
These new perspectives of ourselves, our personal histories, and our current environment may take time to integrate.
Luckily, once there is awareness gained there are frameworks that we can utilize to aid in processing this information to integrate it. We can then utilize this new found information to upgrade and optimize ourselves and our performance in all areas of life.
This conscious awareness that is gained about ourselves can always be used as valuable information, and when processed efficiently provides gold on the other side that is nourishing for the soul and expansive for the personality.
The shadow, while elusive, contains many valuable insights into ourselves and our early childhoods that can aid us in claiming our power from “outside” circumstance” and events, whether that be from the past, present, or imagined future.
It can aid us in seeing what is real and what is fantasy - for the shadow that is not integrated can fill the mind with illusions of all kinds and “drive” our inner narrations and “stories” we tell ourselves.
The shadow then typically begins to manifest in our childhoods through the ways we are conditioned to express ourselves or to hide ourselves.
This aspect of self and the needs inherent within it, we typically fear, are embarrassed of, don’t comprehend, and can’t fathom how to integrate within limited states of awareness.
Often, many are unaware that they have a shadow side to them that may be motivating their behaviors at all. They are blind to it and live in a fantasy of who they think they are, what they are doing and how they are interacting.
This is largely influenced by living in a culture that perpetuates this kind of operating and day to day interactions.
Fear drives many to “look the other way” instead of opening honest dialogue with themselves and others. It is an appeal to outside authority to resolve all conflict or problems.
The truth is - the shadow can be integrated and can be done so easily given that it is explored with a curious mind. A curious mind is a mind that is ready and willing to explore the shadow openly and to look at it’s contents objectively.
In order to look at it’s contents objectively, one must be willing to observe and rewire themselves.
This becomes easy once one logically sees that they would be "better off" going through this process, and being open to witnessing themselves from different angles.
The shadow is deeply connected to all of the vices that have “influence” throughout society (global, local, you name it).
Logically then, the shadow is deeply connected to our own vices and areas that can be “dysfunctional”.
The shadow aspect of ourselves are prone to becoming “inverted” or “perverted” when ignored, shunned, or shamed for extended periods of time, and can fester and grow in the darkness.
This aspect of one’s self can then begin to take up “methods” of engagement with others that are frowned upon in order to get it’s needs met, which is to say our own needs.
At the heart of our shadows are aspects of ourselves that were rejected and neglected.
The light of awareness is what brings health and comprehension to the shadow and allows one to reclaim aspects of themselves that may have been lost, or fragmented early on in life due to neglect, abuse, verbal harassment, guilt influence, etc.
In order to cultivate the light of our awareness towards our shadow - it is useful to look at all the areas of our lives that we feel the most tension around.
Identifying The Shadow
Observing our own shadow can be accomplished by isolating aspects of our lives and looking at them objectively.
These major aspects of our lives are typically tied to deep emotional mechanisms and can give valuable insight into how our psyches are operating.
These emotions can take the form of any kind of emotion of intensity that we would deem as detrimental, “negative”, tense, and even manic.
The aspects we will be focusing here are:
- Resources
- Money
- Sex & Intersexual Dynamics
- Food
- Aggression & Conflict
These areas of life and our emotional relationship to them are great indicators of how our shadow operates and what it “believes” about itself (or what we subconsciously believe about ourselves).
These areas are akin to “passageways” into the world of our shadow, and being able to “see” the world through the lens of our shadows.
They can give us valuable insights into what needs we have within our shadows that have not been being met, and why we behave in ways that we do, leading to a comprehension on how to move forward in life insuring positive actions are taken.
When our needs are not met and we neglect our shadows, they tend to motivate us to behave in dishonorable ways.
Through lying, cheating, stealing, thieving, and aggressing these shadow dynamics can operate on an almost entirely “other” agenda than what the conscious mind operates on or “thinks” that It’s operating on.
It is possible for someone to be essentially “possessed” by their shadow if they are suffering from major emotional blockages and lack of connection with those around them (and most importantly - to their own heart).
By exploring these topics and how we relate to them emotionally, taking observations of our behaviors and thoughts, we can begin to decipher our own internal configurations and gain insight into how to relate to and rewire ourselves for optimal functioning.
Here’s a framework that one can utilize (and optimize) in order to continually integrate and “eat” their shadow, finding nourishment in it and turning it into "gold"
1. Take time to explore your emotional relationship with the topics listed above:
Which ones trigger you the most? Which ones hold the most embarrassment for you? Which ones make you feel the most uncomfortable? What topics are you most timid to speak about with others? What emotions do you feel around these topics?
Take notes of this and begin by observing and accepting that some of them trigger you to greater intensities than others. Accept all observations that come to mind as reference for deeper inner work and discovery.
Tips:
- Here’s a question you can ask yourself in meditation: “I ask my subconscious mind now to bring me insightful information about these specific topics”. Pay attention to what comes up!
- Journal about the way these aspects of life influence your emotions and be clear on observing any ways these aspects of life distress you and motivate your behavior with yourself and the outside world.
2. Look Deeper:
Once you have compiled baseline emotional observations about yourself in relation to this topics, feel into them on a deeper level and see why you are responding in these ways.
What topics trigger the most amount of emotional energy and why?
Continue to explore until you see some of the objective details on why you are responding the way you are. What are the beliefs underlying your emotional responses and behaviors?
3. Once inner stood - choose to respond differently:
Once you are able to see why you are having a undesirable emotional response and are acting in ways that are not good for your long-term success, you can then begin to choose to respond differently to the same “stimulus”. Instead of responding from a subconsciously emotionally triggered state, you can respond from a conscious place of creating your reality and craving out a road to where you want to go. You become the embodiment of what you seek to be.
This process, when used over and over again through simulations and real-life scenarios will become more and more refined until it is an automatic program running in your subconscious mind. Awareness builds momentum.
This then allows one to continuously process their shadow energy more and more efficiently.
Conclusion
An added bonus of this blueprint, once set in place within the individual, is that it can help others process their own shadows.
When you begin to do shadow work on yourself and express it outwardly through honest communication, it “gives license” to others to do the same who may have otherwise felt shy, skittish, or reluctant.
It lightens up the room.
This new found honesty in your social groups, and your own personal social ecosystem, will do wonders in producing happier and healthier people, as well as strengthening the connections interwoven within.
Honest communication to each other about this process is also a great way to create stronger bonds between friends and family alike.
This piece is one of many that will be on the topic of the shadow and will explore these domains of consciousness - so that we can be optimized in our conscious experience of life, increase our individual capabilities, and increase the standards in our social groups to enhance all parties involved and create cohesion.
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Namaste, and may your day be filled with illumination and awareness.
Aho